Author Topic: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint  (Read 186 times)

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Online Pepsi

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WASHINGTON—Following months of bruising criticism from Democrats and President Trump alike, an inconsolable Jeff Sessions was reportedly trying to commit suicide Thursday by smoking a joint. “I swore I’d never take the coward’s way out, but what choice do I have?” said a teary-eyed Sessions, carefully laying a sealed envelope containing his farewell note on a tool bench in his garage as he raised a lighter to the marijuana cigarette with trembling hands. “This is it. I’ve taken four puffs to make sure there’s no chance of survival. It should only be a matter of minutes now.

https://politics.theonion.com/inconsolable-jeff-sessions-tries-to-commit-suicide-by-s-1826462420?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2pOUSlAwMlyJ6DDhk_En1QOKbv2FOYIPW7L0wuVDb-LiS4_1PfG_JlDak
"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears" ~George Orwell 1984

Online Calypso Jones

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2018, 09:04:58 PM »
He coulda done that 2 years ago as far as i'm concerned.   Well.....at least at the DoJ, while he was Attorney General, the twalet were never cleaner.   

Online Makesenseplease

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2018, 09:21:47 AM »
I think Pepsi forgot his fake news checker.
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Online hurricanehook

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2018, 11:14:27 AM »
I think Pepsi forgot his fake news checker.
It is a satirical website......
Sometimes I think it's a shame,
When I get feelin' better when I'm feelin' no pain

Online Hollybaere

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2018, 05:06:33 PM »


WASHINGTON—Following months of bruising criticism from Democrats and President Trump alike, an inconsolable Jeff Sessions was reportedly trying to commit suicide Thursday by smoking a joint. “I swore I’d never take the coward’s way out, but what choice do I have?” said a teary-eyed Sessions, carefully laying a sealed envelope containing his farewell note on a tool bench in his garage as he raised a lighter to the marijuana cigarette with trembling hands. “This is it. I’ve taken four puffs to make sure there’s no chance of survival. It should only be a matter of minutes now.

https://politics.theonion.com/inconsolable-jeff-sessions-tries-to-commit-suicide-by-s-1826462420?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2pOUSlAwMlyJ6DDhk_En1QOKbv2FOYIPW7L0wuVDb-LiS4_1PfG_JlDak

It is impossible to commit suicide by smoking a joint.  ::)
All truth passes through three stages:
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Online Calypso Jones

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2018, 11:56:29 PM »
The jackass should hide his head in shame for his incompetence and dishonesty.

Online Pepsi

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2018, 03:18:59 PM »
It is impossible to commit suicide by smoking a joint.  ::)

I know, I'd be a dead man by now  8)
"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears" ~George Orwell 1984

Online hurricanehook

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2018, 03:45:00 PM »
I know, I'd be a dead man by now  8)
Say it ain't so, Pepsi.
Sometimes I think it's a shame,
When I get feelin' better when I'm feelin' no pain

Online Hollybaere

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Re: Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2018, 03:54:02 PM »
Say it ain't so, Pepsi.

Why?? Cannabis  cures, it does not kill!!  ;D
All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
� ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)
Dagon is an idiot!!

Those Who Sacrifice Liberty For Security, Deserve Neither- Benjamin Franklin