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In an effort to better protect all customers during the Covid-19 pandemic, retail pharmacy chain Walgreens introduced new dumbass-only shopping hours Thursday for dipshits who don’t know how to stay 6 goddamn feet away.

“We want everyone to feel safe while shopping at Walgreens, so from now on, we’re reserving every morning from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. for fuckwits who lack the common sense not to get right up behind a stranger and breathe into their ear,” said CEO Stefano Pessina, who noted that the research shows the dip

It's almost like the United States has no President - we are a rudderless ship heading for a major disaster. Good luck everyone!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 20, 2014

Governor Gavin Newsom said that he would use the bulk purchasing power of California “as a nation-state” to acquire the hospital supplies that the federal government has failed to provide. If all goes according to plan, Newsom said, California might even “export some of those supplies to states in need.”

“Nation-state.” “Export.”

Newsom is accomplishing a few things here, with what can only be a deliberate lack of subtlety. First and foremost, he is trying to relieve the shortage of personal protective eq

Former VP Joe Biden holds a wide lead over President Trump in the national race for the White House, according to a new CNN poll. Biden leads Trump 53% to 42% among registered voters, roughly steady from CNN's poll in early March. https://t.co/FNqionK0Hd

— CNN (@CNN) April 9, 2020

.@OANN  A key CoronaVirus Model is now predicting far fewer deaths than the number shown in earlier models. That’s because the American people are doing a great job. Social Distancing etc. Keep going!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 9, 2020

On National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day, we honor the more than 500,000 American warriors captured while protecting our way of life. We pay tribute to these Patriots for their unwavering and unrelenting spirit! https://t.co/KOI7Qd1pZx

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 9, 2020

6.6 million Americans filed jobless claims last week - bringing total claims to almost *17 million* over the last three weeks alone.

Reupping this graph of weekly jobless claims from the 1960s to the present. Wait for it:pic.twitter.com/ujH1c1PlbN

— Tim O'Brien (@TimOBrien) April 9, 2020